Take a gander here at this review of some recently published research on parenting. The short shrift is basically that moms can sorta nudge kids to become upstanding citizens, but generally only with their daughters, while dads can pretty much put it on autopilot, they ain't doing nothing.
Of course, that's probably brushing it a bit too broadly, my parenting styles are probably more closely shaped to this style. That is to say, I only have two goals for Jack: To become a successful adult in our society, and I hope we all have a lot of fun getting there. I tend to feel I got each of those ideas from one parent. I'll let you guess which.
I figure Nicole and I already did the heavy lifting to much of Jack's success through our shared values, and our pooled wealth and education ought to chip in to that happiness quotient quite nicely. After that, it's really not up to us, which is fine by me.
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Pat,
Both are interesting reads. In the first, I enjoyed the comments by the guests. I'm wary of studies that rely on participants' perceptions; it's all a bit relative.
I think that families can exert a lot of influence on how kids "turn out". This lessens over time as the child becomes more independent, but the foundations are there.
I also liked the comment about how we act in everyday matters speaks louder than anything we can say. If we, as parents, keep the TV off and spend time reading or playing together, we will help foster strong emotional and intellectual development. We don't need to fill up kids' days with classes and practices. We just need to have a lot of personal involvement with them.
I've been teaching Gretel how to ride a two-wheeler. It's been challenging and fun. Each time she falls, she wants to stop but I preach to her, "when you fall, you get right back on." Of course, that speaks to more than just riding a bike. She has made great strides and, when she was able to ride several hundred yards, (with me running asrtide her) she was beaming. "I'm doing it!!! I'm riding a two-wheeler!!!" I told her that it was one of the proudest moments of my life.-Bob
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